Did your mother never tell you not to drink on an empty head?

Heckling is an act of cowardice. If you want to speak, get up in front of the microphone and speak, don't sit in the dark hiding. It's easy to hide and shout and waste people's time.

Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.

Ally MacLeod thinks that tactics are a new kind of mint.

I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing.

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

If you want to lose a bit of weight, don't eat anything out of a bucket.