When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?

The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started.

Don't tell me how to do my job. I don't come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.

There's no such thing as bad weather - only the wrong clothes.

Politically correct is the language of cowardice.

It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things.

I hate those earnest TV documentaries that are the world according to people with glasses who know better than you.