When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?

I am totally, absolutely romantic. When I broke up with a girl I would listen to the most heart-breaking music and make it worse. That's what girls do. I think I am a girl really.

Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it's easy - you simply look under the kilt, and if it's a quarter-pounder, you know it's a McDonald's.

I'd always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.

What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?

Try to live in a place you like.

If you don't know how to meditate at least try to spend some time every day just sitting.