Politically correct is the language of cowardice.

Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn't too nice a thing to do.

The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started.

A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They've been offending other people for centuries.

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

I like Salvador Dali and Rene Magritte. I also like the Scottish artist John Byrne, another surrealist.

I've never done a comedy club in my life. It's weird because I don't have the same background as most comics. I don't have a history of going up and only doing eight minutes.