There's no such thing as bad weather - only the wrong clothes.

I became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.

I’m actually pale blue: it takes me a week of sunbathing to turn white.

A well-balanced person has a drink in each hand.

I was brought up a Catholic, for that you get an A level in guilt.

Never run with scissors or other pointy objects.

When I read 'Be real, don't get caught acting,' I thought, 'How the hell do you do that?'.