There's no such thing as bad weather - only the wrong clothes.

I don't like the beach. I think we have no business at the beach at all, as a species. We don't belong in the sea. The sea is full of things that bite us, sting us, hurt the soles of our feet, and it's extremely cold. When are we gonna take the hint that the things that live in the sea don't like us?

I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.

I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.

Honestly some folk will take offence at anything, I met a bloke with no legs this morning while at the bus stop, all I asked was "How are you getting on?"

I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce.

Whenever I wear something expensive it looks stolen.