I think the comedy clubs tend to homogenize the acts a little bit, because they force them to be palatable in way too many environments.

I got a safe full of cherries 'cause I pop it and lock it.

No one entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you.

The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever.

I'm gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face.

We're having a traditional Thanksgiving - turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc.

Poetic talent is really easy to fake when thy sentences doth no f-king sense make.