I think the comedy clubs tend to homogenize the acts a little bit, because they force them to be palatable in way too many environments.

I'd really love to make something that doesn't involve my stupid face.

Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.

I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don't have a great ear. It's like a tragedy - I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.

I don't consciously try to make things difficult as much as I try to make them a little different. I like all kinds of laughs. I tried to make a show that elicit groans, guffaws, chuckles, boos.

I don't try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.

I misdirect the audience, so they have no idea where they are or who they're listening to.