Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem. They're all running for the Presidency.

I knew the President would run for reelection in 1984. Why not? Actors love sequels ... and returns.

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.

I once showed Pat Bradley my swing and said, 'What do I do next?' Pat replied, 'Wait till the pain dies down.'

Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.

Welcome to the Academy Awards, or, as it's known at my house, Passover.

Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.