Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem. They're all running for the Presidency.

Please don't stand up on my account.

Every Naval vessel has a contingent of Marines aboard. After all, the Sailors have to have someone to dance with.

Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

My folks were English . . . we were too poor to be British.

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people.