Welcome to the Academy Awards, or, as it's known at my house, Passover.
Vice President Spiro Agnew can not cheat on his score : because all you have to do is look back down the fairway and count the wounded.
It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn't know they had a caddie division.
I've been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
Television. That's where movies go when they die.