If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.

Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?

I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.

Wine, women and song have been replaced by prune juice, a heating pad and the Gong Show.

The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he's not running for anything.

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

My folks were English . . . we were too poor to be British.