Today's ballroom dances like the swim, the frug, the chicken and the monkey are really nervous disorders set to music.

Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy he's hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.

It flies so high, I swear I heard the organs playing.

If they liked you, they didn't applaud -- they let you live.

The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.

I knew the President would run for reelection in 1984. Why not? Actors love sequels ... and returns.

I have too much money invested in sweaters.