Today's ballroom dances like the swim, the frug, the chicken and the monkey are really nervous disorders set to music.

The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I've been doing that all my life.

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people.

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.

Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico!

It was a typically British birth... I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward... I came out in sympathy.

The home videos aren't as good, but they are seeming to get better.