Today's ballroom dances like the swim, the frug, the chicken and the monkey are really nervous disorders set to music.

To give you an idea of how fast we travelled - we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.

Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.

Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees.

Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

Lots of travel, away from home.