Today's ballroom dances like the swim, the frug, the chicken and the monkey are really nervous disorders set to music.

At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.

For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green

Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.

It's so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one.

The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.