Arnold Palmer is the biggest crowd pleaser since the invention of the portable sanitary facility.
One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we'll have her forever.
You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
I love flying. I've been to almost as many places as my luggage.
If they liked you, they didn't applaud -- they let you live.
Seventy years of ad-lib material, and I am speechless.