When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight - and that was just their hair.

My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun.

Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.

To give you an idea of how fast we travelled - we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.

If my golf game was a prize fight, they'd stop it.