Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.

That's life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.

Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn't hear them.

Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy he's hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.

There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.

I have this terrific make-up man. But he's expensive. I have to bring him in from Lourdes.

Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you'll promise her anything.