I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.

Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here - just for me.

My folks were English . . . we were too poor to be British.

Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.

I've been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.

Eisenhower admitted that the budget can't be balanced and McCarthy said the communists are taking over. You don't know what to worry about these days - whether the country will be overthrown or overdrawn.

I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support.