It's a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he's dead.

I have this terrific make-up man. But he's expensive. I have to bring him in from Lourdes.

That's life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.

Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here - just for me.

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It's in the lease.

I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.