It's amazing how many people you see on TV. I did my first television show a month ago, and the next day five million television sets were sold. The people who couldn't sell theirs threw them away.
I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
I've got to watch myself these days. It's too exciting watching anyone else.
You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.