I was lucky I wasn't a better boxer, or that's what I'd be now - a punchy ex-pug.

A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.

You know what a fan letter is - it's just an inky raspberry.

It flies so high, I swear I heard the organs playing.

Milton Hope led the singing of Happy Birthday ... He would say, 'Keep it sweet and short and don't try to be funny.'

Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me.

Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.