Take nine strokes off your score. Skip the last hole.

Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn't hear them.

Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you'll promise her anything.

My folks were English. They were too poor to be British. I still have a bit of British in me. In fact, my blood type is solid marmalade.

The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent's handshake.

To give you an idea of how fast we travelled - we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.

She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all.