English clubs are very exclusive. I played Royal Foxshire and they made me wear a suit and tie. . . in the shower.

I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support.

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.

I don't know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.

Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn't hear them.

The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don't know which end to talk to.