He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees.
Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he's now my golf bag.
My folks were English . . . we were too poor to be British.
There's a very apt saying in show business: "If you don't go over budget in Paris, you're either very rich or very sick. "