A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.

There's a very apt saying in show business: "If you don't go over budget in Paris, you're either very rich or very sick. "

Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don't worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.

Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees.

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.

In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you. In Hollywood the weatherman gets a shooting schedule from all the major studios and then figures out where he can fit in a little rain without upsetting Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer too much.