Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.

I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support.

Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It's going to get us out of the house after dark!

Somebody should tell Jerry Falwell that God is an Independent . . . he's not rich enough to be a Republican.

Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I'm the healthiest idiot in the world.

For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green

Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn't be surprised if their wrestling was on the level.