He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England

Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees.

I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?

You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor's age by the rings on her fingers.

I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

I don't bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard ... I sell.

The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent's handshake.