Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?

The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent's handshake.

Golf's really fun in Japan because of the women caddies. ... I saw one guy start out playing alone with his caddie. By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome.

US President Gerald Ford's golf was so bad we thought he was a 'Hitman for the PGA!

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don't worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.

Television. That's where movies go when they die.