If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.

I've never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn't know how really great he is.

Vice President Spiro Agnew can not cheat on his score : because all you have to do is look back down the fairway and count the wounded.

The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.

You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you're turning the pages.