Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.

It's a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you'll be able to watch it all on TV.

If I had that kind of money, I wouldn't come to Vietnam, I'd send for it.

I can't give up Golf, I've got too many sweaters.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

If my golf game was a prize fight, they'd stop it.

The home videos aren't as good, but they are seeming to get better.