The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I've been doing that all my life.

YOU CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME SO CONCENTRATE ON IT.

I don't know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.

Foursomes have left the first tee there and have never been seen again. They just find their shoelaces and bags.

I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.

Gerry Ford is easy to spot on the course. He drives the cart with the red cross painted on top.

Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.