I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people.

The home videos aren't as good, but they are seeming to get better.

Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.

Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn't hear them.

The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn't got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.

I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.

My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They're still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.