The home videos aren't as good, but they are seeming to get better.

Don't people know that they don't have to heckle the president of the United States? That's what Congress is for.

Television. That's where movies go when they die.

My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They're still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

That's life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.