It was a typically British birth... I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward... I came out in sympathy.

Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He's always had an agent for that.

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

Television is the box they buried entertainment in.

I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.