I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during a power failure.
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?
I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there.
It gave dirty politics a bad name.