I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

I've never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn't know how really great he is.

I don't know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.

At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.

Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I'm the healthiest idiot in the world.

Arnold Palmer is the biggest crowd pleaser since the invention of the portable sanitary facility.

You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor's age by the rings on her fingers.