I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?

Golf's really fun in Japan because of the women caddies. ... I saw one guy start out playing alone with his caddie. By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome.

Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you'll promise her anything.

I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

Arnold Palmer is the biggest crowd pleaser since the invention of the portable sanitary facility.

Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands

I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.