I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?

My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They're still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.

I've always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It's an island and the audience can't run very far.

I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.

I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there.

Celebrities have a way of touching our lives. Perhaps we are influenced by their screen image, or perhaps by their acquired status. Here are some celebrity quotes about Christmas. You will find that just like everybody else, celebrities also enjoy the little pleasures of Christmas.

Gerry Ford is easy to spot on the course. He drives the cart with the red cross painted on top.