I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.

You never know when you'll come upon something and it's going to be fodder for new material.

But I really believe that if you have the ability, there is an obligation to make people laugh

Marriage and fatherhood heighten the disillusion that we all think we are born handy. We confidently believe that we can fix things around the house, as if it's part of the collective brain that was further enhanced by eighth-grade shop class.

I've been told to speed up my delivery when I perform. But if I lose the stammer, I'm just another slightly amusing accountant.

A collison is what happens when two motorists go after the same pedestrian.

Doormen are kind of invisible, people don't know their names. They just say, Thank you, or Good morning. I'd never thought about doormen before. They're a vanishing breed. More electronic doors are being introduced.