Marriage and fatherhood heighten the disillusion that we all think we are born handy. We confidently believe that we can fix things around the house, as if it's part of the collective brain that was further enhanced by eighth-grade shop class.

I don't have a stack of scripts...

As an actor, you generally want to see the other actor's face.

Every new routine I have ever written and performed probably occurred extemporaneously. Then after you have fleshed it out and tried it out in front of a number of audiences and it works, you put it down on paper.

Cell phones have gotten so small, you can't tell who's a cell phone user and who's a schizophrenic.

Doormen are kind of invisible, people don't know their names. They just say, Thank you, or Good morning. I'd never thought about doormen before. They're a vanishing breed. More electronic doors are being introduced.

Sometimes you forget you're famous. You wonder, Why is that person staring at me?