When you're going for a joke, you're stuck out there if it doesn't work. There's nowhere to go. You've done the drum role and the cymbal clash and you're out on the end of the plank.

I think there are still words you can't use in family entertainment that you can use in a sitcom today.

I think one reason for a successful marriage is laughter. I think laughter gets you through the rough moments in a marriage.

The reason I'm a psychologist is based in part on my telephone routines. Much of my humor comes out of reaction to what other people are saying. A psychologist is a man who listens, who is sympathetic.

I'm one of those passengers who arrives at the airport five or six hours early so I can throw back a few drinks and muster up the courage to board the plane. Apparently I'm not alone because I've never been in an empty airport bar. I don't care what time you get there. Even at 8:00 a.m. you have to fight your way to the bar. At that hour, everyone drinks Bloody Marys so no one can tell it's booze- at least until they fall off their chair.

Cell phones have gotten so small, you can't tell who's a cell phone user and who's a schizophrenic.

I was influenced by every comedian I ever saw work. That's the only way you learn how to do it.