I've been married forty-five years. I think laughter is the secret.

This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I'm not about to screw with it now.

Cell phones have gotten so small, you can't tell who's a cell phone user and who's a schizophrenic.

I think that what comes through in Chicago humor is the affection. Even though youre poking fun at someone or something, theres still an affection for it.

The reason I'm a psychologist is based in part on my telephone routines. Much of my humor comes out of reaction to what other people are saying. A psychologist is a man who listens, who is sympathetic.

It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves.

The best advice I could give someone trying to get into the comedy field is to take advantage of every opportunity you have to work to hone your skills.