You should have a value system. You can win if you stick with your value system.

There are a lot of questions I keep asking myself about why I do comedy. I guess I laugh to keep from crying. And I guess if you ever get me crying, I might not stop. This is the way I look at tragedy or else I'll cry.

I still feel thirty, except when I try to run.

I don't want to find the secret. I'm afraid all the joy will go out of it if I find the secret.

It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves.

Comedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always out there.

I love portraying the totally indifferent person.