Half the time, you go on any one of these news sites, whether it be a Yahoo or a Google, and one of the top headlines is always, "Did a comedian go too far?" or "Comedian offends." It's like, "Really? Comedian?" A person that's supposed to make funny and make silly and historically was the only person who was allowed to make fun of the king? We're the ones that you're taking seriously?

It takes a surprisingly large amount of intelligence to be a professional idiot.

Yeah, people do need to realize that just because they've seen me perform for an hour does not mean that we are now close.

I don't want to be mean. I try not to be.

Just imagine in 20 years, when candidates will have grown up with social media their entire lives. We're going to have a president where we have - where someone could go through their timeline, or someone could go through their Snapchat, or someone will find - a future president will have sent a d### pic.

There are plenty of wonderful, good fat people in the USA that have no problems being fat, who I have no problems with being fat.

I don't know, why am I called the opposite of what I am? It's very confusing to me.