Zen practice asks you not to worry about who you 'should' become. Find out who you are right now.

When we are willing to accept our experience, just as it is, a strange thing happens: it changes into something else. When we avoid pain, struggle not to feel it, pain turns into suffering.

Relying on another is an expression of attachment, not love, a manifestation of insecurity and suffering, not understanding the true nature of our lives.

Who you are is always enough. If your partner wants something different, it does not reflect upon you, but upon their needs and fantasies.

From the Zen view all beings are in the grip of the three poisons, greed, anger and delusion (ignorance).

It is a mistake to expect all of our needs to be met by one person or in one relationship. Honor and be grateful for that which you receive. Don't become bitter and spend all your time focusing on that which the person is not able to provide.

In a relationship if you are giving and getting nothing back in return, stop giving so much, and spend time being. Give to yourself, be who you are.