We turn pain into suffering by adding on all kinds of beliefs, interpretations and judgments to it.

This is how we know we are in a loving relationship. We are blooming, and the one we love is blooming as well.

When we do not reject our suffering, or add anything to it, pain is simply pain. It is what we add to our pain that turns it into suffering.

We are what we think about. When we stay fixed on one person, thought or situation, we get caught in the grip of self-centered thoughts. The more we give attention to that which is upsetting, the more strength it has to rule our lives.

Fear of the future and longing for the past are major factors which impede appropriate action.

Who you are is always enough. If your partner wants something different, it does not reflect upon you, but upon their needs and fantasies.

From the Zen view all beings are in the grip of the three poisons, greed, anger and delusion (ignorance).