All publicity is good, except an obituary notice.

I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn't make it worse.

In a society which really supported marriage the wife would be encouraged to go to the office and make love to her husband on the company's time and with its blessing.

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.

Other people's interruptions of your work are relatively insignificant compared with the countless times you interrupt yourself.

Every cripple has his own way of walking.

I am a daylight atheist.