What the hell difference does it make, left or right? There were good men lost on both sides.

I think weddings are sadder than funerals, because they remind you of your own wedding. You can't be reminded of your own funeral because it hasn't happened. But weddings always make me cry.

It is a good deed to forget a poor joke

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis.

I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.

There's no one, no one, loves you like yourself.

It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody.