Many a man has decided to stay alive not because of the will to live but because of the determination not to give assorted surviving bastards the satisfaction of his death.

Prostitutes, more than any other profession, help keep American marriages together.

No man can discover his own talents.

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.

Scream at God if that's the only thing that will get results.

Nothing hurts more than the friendly letter that one never got around to writing.

There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.