A pedestrian ought to be legally allowed to toss at least one hand grenade at a motorist every day.

The only thing I envy in young people is their livers.

I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.

Whatever you hold in contempt is your jailer.

The English and Americans dislike only some Irish--the same Irish that the Irish themselves detest, Irish writers--the ones that think.

Ninety-seven saint days a year wouldn't affect the theater, but two Yom Kippurs would ruin it.

I saw a notice that said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started.