You made one mistake. You married me.
An author's first duty is to let down his country.
When two men fight over a woman it's the fight they want, not the woman.
A general and a bit of shooting makes you forget your troubles ... it takes your mind off the cost of living.
I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.