The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
The only thing I envy in young people is their livers.
It is a good deed to forget a poor joke
I never felt so much at home as I do in New York. I must be a devil.
All publicity is good, except an obituary notice.
I think weddings are sadder than funerals, because they remind you of your own wedding. You can't be reminded of your own funeral because it hasn't happened. But weddings always make me cry.