If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.

There's no one, no one, loves you like yourself.

The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you.

When two men fight over a woman it's the fight they want, not the woman.

I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.

There is no human situation so miserable that it cannot be made worse by the presence of a policeman.

Pound notes are the best religion in the world.