It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody.

A pedestrian ought to be legally allowed to toss at least one hand grenade at a motorist every day.

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in.

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.

I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

Prostitutes, more than any other profession, help keep American marriages together.

I wish I'd been a mixed infant.