Ah, bless you, Sister, may all your sons be bishops.

Most horror movies are certainly that.

I think weddings are sadder than funerals, because they remind you of your own wedding. You can't be reminded of your own funeral because it hasn't happened. But weddings always make me cry.

There is no human situation so miserable that it cannot be made worse by the presence of a policeman.

Message? What the hell do you think I am, a bloody postman?

In a society which really supported marriage the wife would be encouraged to go to the office and make love to her husband on the company's time and with its blessing.

Pound notes are the best religion in the world.