God forgive us-but most of us grew up to be the sort of men our mothers warned us against.

There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.

I wish I'd been a mixed infant.

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.

I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.

I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn't make it worse.

Ah, bless you, Sister, may all your sons be bishops.