I've been trying to quit smoking weed and it's really hard quitting pot. It was actually easier to become a vegetarian because your friends never show up at your house with a sack of beef.

I don't know if I was a poseur - I really did love metal, always - but I gave a lot of other things a chance. I wanted to meet, um, girls, so I would check out Depeche Mode. But mostly I wanted stuff with pentagrams and crowns of thorns on it.

I was just surprised when my wife told me we were having a baby. I was like, Wow, that's awesome. You're going to make a great single mom.

Turns out, theres not a lot of information about pickles on the Internet.

Guys don't do that when they go out. Guys don't wear outfits that feature the dong.

I like any big city. I like any place where you can see a guy with a pants-full of pooh fighting a ghost.

Always been a big heavy metal fan. I remember being 15 saying, Dude I'm going to love heavy metal forever. Heavy metal til I'm 60. I'm 35 now. I think I'm going to give it one more year.