Metal is the feeling of being an outsider, but still being part of something huge.

I also smoke a lot of pot, occasionally, every day.

I like any big city. I like any place where you can see a guy with a pants-full of pooh fighting a ghost.

Turns out, theres not a lot of information about pickles on the Internet.

I don't know if I was a poseur - I really did love metal, always - but I gave a lot of other things a chance. I wanted to meet, um, girls, so I would check out Depeche Mode. But mostly I wanted stuff with pentagrams and crowns of thorns on it.

My friends are trying to get me to go out on blind dates. Big 'NO' to that because all my friends are a bunch of lying geeks. They're always like, 'Brian, you're really gonna dig this girl. She's got Traci Lords' eyes, Michelle Pfeiffer's nose, Kim Basinger's lips.' Yeah, they always forget to tell me she's also got Charlie Brown's head.

My act is pretty much me reflecting on what I want to talk about and what I think is funny and what has happened to me.